Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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