She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
