fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
