too bad you live with your parents still
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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