Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
