I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
