How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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