that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
