Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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