Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
