so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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