sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
