He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
