she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize