she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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