i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
