i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
