also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
