so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
