New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
