I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
