At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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