theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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