And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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