his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
