Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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