he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
