I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
