You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
