Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
