that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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