He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
