Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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