i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
