What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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