Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
