Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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