u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
