To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
