so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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