Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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