You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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