: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize