Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
