The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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