That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
