oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize