fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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