i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
