I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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