So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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