this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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