Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
