I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
