YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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