Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
