I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize